How to Encourage Someone to go to Therapy

Therapy can be a powerful step towards healing, but most people don’t simply wake up one day and decide to go. Before that moment, there’s often a series of realizations that soften the heart and prepare it for change.

In this blog, we’ll explore the stages that usually need to happen before someone is ready for therapy, and how you can gently support someone you care about along the way with compassion, patience, and hope.

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Stage 1: “There is a problem.”

The first stage is to acknowledge the problem. If they don’t see an issue, or don’t believe one exists, they’re stuck before the journey even begins. From their point of view, there’s no reason to take a step towards change.

If they’re stuck here, they may be in denial, minimizing their challenges, or unaware of what’s going on. You can gently help them build awareness and recognize that they’re struggling. It’s important to do so in a way that isn’t accusatory, as this can often push them further away from support. Above all, approach them with empathy and patience.

Try using a gentle approach by saying something like, 

• “I’ve noticed you seem more tired/irritable than usual; have you noticed that too?”
• “Sometimes we don’t realize we’re carrying a lot until we talk about it. Do you feel that could be the case for you?”

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Stage 2: “This can be solved.”

Some people recognize their struggles but see no way out. If they believe that nothing can change, they won’t even look for help. People struggling to recognize that change is possible are often feeling hopeless or powerless. You can support them by nurturing hope, showing them examples of change, and sparking their imagination. It’s also important to build their confidence and sense of self-efficacy. 

You can encourage them with your words:,

• “What if things could get better? What would that look like for you?”
• “Allah promises, ‘With hardship comes ease’ (94:5). Maybe the ease comes through new steps you haven’t tried yet?”

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Stage 3: “I want to solve it.”

Even when people recognize that there is a problem, and that it can be helped, they may not want to deal with it. Change requires a level of commitment that not everyone is ready for. 

If someone you care about is struggling to reach the point of wanting to make a change, consider why that may be. Are they fearful? Is there some avoidance happening? How motivated are they? 

To support them through this phase, you can explore their desire for change and motivate them by asking the questions below:

• “What’s harder in the long run: living with this problem or trying to change it?”
• “What do you fear might happen if you do start dealing with it?”

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Stage 4: “Therapy can help me.”

Some people acknowledge the problem and want change, but dismiss therapy as unnecessary or a waste of time or money, so they never give it a chance. This is especially true in communities where mental health struggles still carry stigma.

Within the Muslim community, therapy is sometimes misunderstood as being “un-Islamic” or a sign of weak faith, as though turning to a therapist means turning away from Allah. Islam, however, teaches the opposite. Seeking help is part of tawakkul (trust in Allah), not a contradiction to it. The Prophet ﷺ said, “Tie your camel and trust in Allah” (Tirmidhi). Taking the means, whether through a physician for physical pain or a therapist for emotional struggles, is an act of responsibility and faith.

‍When we view therapy as a means through which Allah brings healing, it becomes easier to accept it as part of our spiritual journey rather than separate from it. Healing the heart and mind is deeply Islamic work. Normalizing therapy and highlighting it as one of the ways Allah provides shifā’ (healing) can make a profound difference for someone who feels unsure. Encourage the person you care about to consider the following: “If you had chest pain, you’d see a doctor. Why not do the same for emotional pain?”

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Stage 5: “I’m willing to put in the effort.”

Even after someone decides that therapy can help, they must have the willingness to actually do the work. Therapy requires both emotional and financial investment. It asks people to show up, be honest, and face parts of themselves they may have been avoiding for years. That can feel daunting.

Many people get stuck here because the process can feel overwhelming. The idea of finding a therapist, booking an appointment, committing to weekly sessions, and spending money on something that feels uncertain can be intimidating. Sometimes the barrier isn’t resistance, it’s exhaustion.

If someone is feeling hopeful, yet hesitant, breaking the process into smaller steps can be helpful. This allows  them to see that therapy doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing commitment; it can begin with a single, manageable step forward.

Encourage them to consider the smallest first step or offer to help do research and organize their path forward. At the same time, remind them that therapy is not about perfection, it’s about progress. 

From an Islamic perspective, this stage is also about jihad al-nafs — the struggle to better oneself. Healing is not passive; it’s an active, courageous effort that Allah rewards. “Indeed, Allah does not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves” (Qur’an 13:11).

Starting therapy, then, becomes not just an act of self-care, but an act of faith — a way of showing up for the amanah (trust) of one’s mind, heart, and soul.

If your loved one is not ready for therapy, consider which stage they may be stuck on. Maybe connecting them with Ruh Care can help them along the way! 

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Remember: You can’t force someone into therapy. But you can listen, support, and plant seeds of hope.